A lot is written about depression in past few years and still suicide and crime rates are increasing devastatingly in adolescents and young adults which clearly implies that very less attention is being paid to what has already been written. in this blog, I am not going to ask parents or teachers to be understanding or pay attention and to children. Instead, I am going to talk to the group which is suffering from this or most
A lot is written about depression in past few years and still suicide and crime rates are increasing devastatingly in adolescents and young adults which clearly implies that very less attention is being paid to what has already been written. in this blog, I am not going to ask parents or teachers to be understanding or pay attention and to children. Instead, I am going to talk to the group which is suffering from this or most prone to this silent killer, depression.
You have been dealing through a lot of stuff including academics, extra curricular, family dramas, peer pressure and blooming romances. From a bunch of advice to no one taking your opinions seriously, you are constantly under pressure and pissed off at all kinds of the lectures which you can’t avoid.
Hmm. So what different I have to offer? Maybe nothing. Maybe you have heard it all before. But still it won’t do any damage to go through this article except for a few minutes.
Competition is the word that actually is the basis of stress and depression. Competition with siblings, with friends and most important with cousins. In some cases, even parents. (when I was your age…). Competition in studies (obviously), extra curricular, looks, other activities, popularity, love relationships and what not.
Comparisons make the pressure even worse. It is not possible to avoid comparison but it is possible to avoid undue stress.. So, here are a few things that I would like to say here, that we usually say during counselling sessions.
- It feels great to score good and academic excellence is important, but still not worth giving up on life. Yes, you have heard it before and it is absolutely true. Even if what you planned is completely ruined, it’s okay. Just don’t give up. Think once that after 5-7 years, will the marks that you score in school be important enough that you are evaluating life lesser than this.
- It is wonderful to have perfect body, hair, skin and style but it’s not abnormal or bad to not have it all. If you can, work to achieve that, but again, it’s okay to not succeed. It’s okay if you don’t get those perfect curves, you are too skinny or fat, as long as you feel healthy, it’s all good.
- Family problems, relatives’ issues, taunts and comparisons will never end, stop paying over attention to it. It’s okay to be self centered if the environment is always negative.
- There is an elevated desire to have an emotional support , to explore the relationship phase. It’s alright if you don’t feel the same way or if you are not getting back similar response from the person you put your feelings in. Having a heart break and crying about it is okay but keeping your life completely centered on it is not.
- We tend to lose friends and people in this age and it’s okay. It’s hurtful and sometimes stressful to lose people you trusted and cared for a lot but it is a part of life. Moving on is difficult but not impossible.
Most important thing to learn and accept is don’t let all the bad happening to you, whatever kind of people you meet, effect you to extent of you losing yourself.
Don’t let the situations or people control you and make your approach negative. Just because people were mean to you or shit happened in past, there’s always some light.
Always remember, it’s okay to be selfish sometimes if being generous is causing you a lot of unhappiness and discomfort.
It’s never okay to lose your self respect to get ANYONE’S attention, care and love. It’s never okay to lose yourself to get anyone’s approval of who you are. No one’s opinion or judgement should lower your sense of self worth.
After all this, it’s alright to lose control, to feel a little competitive or jealous, to break down once in a while, cry and vent anger and stress out. Tears are not a sign of weakness irrespective of gender. (Boys don’t cry ,is utter nonsense).
Communication is always the key. If you are feeling low or disturbed, talk it out. Talk it out before it grows beyond your control. That’s what family and friends are for.
If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, start keeping diary or journal.
If you see someone going through difficult phase, communicate. If you can’t help them , let guardians or counselors know. Because as humans, we share and we care.
And if you still have no one, this portal is always open. I will listen. I will care. (without judgement) 😉